Intro to anxiety 101

 Something I have been super open about with nearly everyone in my life is my anxiety. Lately, it has been getting the best of me- so it leaves me no choice but to overshare yet again with strangers on the internet. 

To dive right in, I started going to therapy in third grade. Yup. Eight years old. Some of my earliest memories are me sitting on that sticky leather couch, playing Candy Land with some strange lady, and looking at a huge picture hanging on the wall of poppy flowers (if you know me, yes that is where I got the idea for my usernames poppysun02 all through middle school). I was diagnosed really early- Generalized Anxiety Disorder. So that's awesome for me huh.

But seriously, I am so beyond grateful I started therapy at such a young age, because here I am now with a deep understanding of how my specific brain works and what sort of things I can do in moments of struggle. I've learned countless breathing and grounding techniques for when I am feeling anxious, and I know that that is such a blessing because not everyone is so lucky. I started therapy so young because my anxiety was debilitating. I wasn't able to go to school without a fit, I was constantly in the nurse's office because the only way I could explain the way I felt was "sick". I knew I wasn't okay. I continued with therapy on and off all the way through my senior year of high school (the only reason for my break is because I am in search of a new therapist). So, in short, I highly recommend therapy to EVERYONE- anxious or not. It is such an amazing device to build techniques and dig deep into understanding why you are the way you are and how to maximize yourself in the best way for your life. My anxiety allows me to be constantly prepared, timely, and organized. I think some people have a hard time seeing mental illnesses as a blessing, but most of the time- they can be. At least a little bit. 

I could talk more about how my anxiety disrupts my life (significantly at times), but what's the point? Yes, there are days I physically cannot get out of bed, or I feel suffocated by the spiraling thoughts in my head that I have no control over. And during those times, I am able to recognize that I only feel that way because I am anxious. But sometimes- that doesn't make a difference. The newest thing I have learned is to not always try and validate or give a reason for my anxiety. I recognize I am anxious, but then my mind tries to find a reason when simply, there isn't always one. Honestly, I have to give myself props for how strong I am, it takes a special type of person to juggle life and other people and their own mental state. And I sincerely feel for anyone and everyone in a similar position. 

I wanted to introduce this part of me on the blog so that it leaves opportunities open for me to dive deeper into other struggles I have, maybe even share experiences, but definitely share the best ways I have learned to manage the anxiety I feel :)